By Any Means Necessary: Dirty Tricks in Britain’s War Against Teenagers

istock_000005412253xsmallIf United Kingdom business leaders and local community authorities are to be believed, then there is no greater threat to the country than gatherings of young people. They must be prevented from enjoying each others company by any means at any cost, lest they befoul surroundings with their bad skin, terrible dress sense and worse command of the English language.

Fortunately for buzz killing authorities, there are a number of effective British solutions to combat the teenage menace by means that are physical, psychological and technological. Today, we examine how regular folks above the age of twenty have managed to spare their communities from the blight of large groups of spotty-faced, poorly dressed and foul-mouthed louts.

1. Anti-teen Noise

mcdonalds_windsor_1The Sonic Teenager Deterrent emits bursts of ear-splittingly loud (80 dB) high frequency sound that is supposedly impossible for most adults over the age of 20 to hear. Described as sounding like “a demented insect or a very badly-played violin.” The idea is young ne’r-do-wells will not want to hang around outside of stores waiting for opportunities to shoplift when they are exposed to volumes of sound loud enough to damage their hearing.

Verdict: Epic failure! Unfortunately the technological solution to the teenage problem was the most overwhelming failure of the lot. While most people under the age of 20 are not able to hear the high pitched squeal of the Sonic Teenager Deterrent, some people can hear it well into their 30’s, so it not only deters penniless students, but also repels paying customers.

To further rub salt in the wound, teenagers have hijacked the high-pitched sound and turned it into a secret ringtone that can’t be heard by adults. Also, there were some concerns as to the legality of a system that could potentially damage hearing.

Can you hear the mosquito tone? Hit play on the video below to find out.


[Uberreview]

 

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About the author: C. S. Magor

 

C.S. Magor is the editor-in-chief and a reporter at large for We Interrupt and Uberreview. He currently resides in the Japanese countryside approximately two hours from Tokyo - where he has spent the better part of a decade testing his hypothesis that Japan is neither as quirky nor as interesting as others would have you believe.

Website: http://www.weinterrupt.com

 

Editor's Picks

 
  • Michelle Ellis

    Are you nuts…you underestimate teens…and why are you SO frightened of them?!

    • http://www.weinterrupt.com C. S. Magor

      While the jury is still out as to whether I am officially nuts or not I can tell you that I am not by any means frightened by teens. It seems, however, that authorities in Britain are and that is what I was trying to put across with this article.

  • Michelle Ellis

    Are you nuts…you underestimate teens…and why are you SO frightened of them?!

    • http://www.weinterrupt.com C. S. Magor

      While the jury is still out as to whether I am officially nuts or not I can tell you that I am not by any means frightened by teens. It seems, however, that authorities in Britain are and that is what I was trying to put across with this article.

  • Harley Quinn

    Jesus, powerful minds are at work trying to deter teens? Those steps are invisible. Geez a few bikers have HAD to break a fall there even with the lines. The spikes are just… wow… those last ones belong on maces. The lights, are you kidding me? Waaay overboard there for just teenagers. God… but the music technique is stupid. My friends and I would eventually like the music hahahaha.

    • http://www.weinterrupt.com C. S. Magor

      With the music, I strongly believe people would grow immune or grow to like it. Michael Bolton or Kenny G on the other hand…

      • http://weinterrupt.com/?fbconnect_action=myhome&userid=1 Vic

        I agree with you Chris, if it was Michael Bolton or Kenny G I would leave the area but if it was country and western I would leave the city

        • http://weinterrupt.com/?fbconnect_action=myhome&userid=2 C. S. Magor

          While most country music doesn’t do it for me, I’ve always got time for The Man in Black.
          San Quentin (Live in San Quentin)
          Hurt

          • Bystander

            Even death metal fanatics can make time for some Johnny Cash. That guy was bad-ass!

  • Harley Quinn

    Jesus, powerful minds are at work trying to deter teens? Those steps are invisible. Geez a few bikers have HAD to break a fall there even with the lines. The spikes are just… wow… those last ones belong on maces. The lights, are you kidding me? Waaay overboard there for just teenagers. God… but the music technique is stupid. My friends and I would eventually like the music hahahaha.

    • http://www.weinterrupt.com C. S. Magor

      With the music, I strongly believe people would grow immune or grow to like it. Michael Bolton or Kenny G on the other hand…

      • http://weinterrupt.com/?fbconnect_action=myhome&userid=1 Vic

        I agree with you Chris, if it was Michael Bolton or Kenny G I would leave the area but if it was country and western I would leave the city

        • http://weinterrupt.com/?fbconnect_action=myhome&userid=2 C. S. Magor

          While most country music doesn’t do it for me, I’ve always got time for The Man in Black.
          San Quentin (Live in San Quentin)
          Hurt

          • Bystander

            Even death metal fanatics can make time for some Johnny Cash. That guy was bad-ass!

  • Mallory

    Where are they supposed to go to hang out?

    Maybe the solution is more youth-friendly space? More youth centres, rec centres, sports grounds, free gyms, use of community halls, school grounds etc.

    Chasing teens away will make them resentful, and encourage antisocial behavior. Give them respect, and and expect them to act responsibly, and many will.

  • Mallory

    Where are they supposed to go to hang out?

    Maybe the solution is more youth-friendly space? More youth centres, rec centres, sports grounds, free gyms, use of community halls, school grounds etc.

    Chasing teens away will make them resentful, and encourage antisocial behavior. Give them respect, and and expect them to act responsibly, and many will.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1057937960 Harley Quinn

    ANARCHY!!!! :P

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1057937960 Harley Quinn

    ANARCHY!!!! :P

  • Brandon

    are you kidding me?! do the people in power in the UK not remember what they did as teens?! why can’t they just let the teens enjoy their youth?! Seems to me like the “powers that be” are bitter that they can no longer enjoy themselves in the carefree way teens do. Using these tactics on kids that are actually causing a disturbance is what they should be doing. “without a handrail (which could encourage leaning).” are you F*#^ing kidding me?! the UK is looking more and more like Saddam’s Iraq. STOP HATEING YOUR KIDS YOU IDIOTS!!

    P.S (to the author)
    Good article!

  • Brandon

    are you kidding me?! do the people in power in the UK not remember what they did as teens?! why can’t they just let the teens enjoy their youth?! Seems to me like the “powers that be” are bitter that they can no longer enjoy themselves in the carefree way teens do. Using these tactics on kids that are actually causing a disturbance is what they should be doing. “without a handrail (which could encourage leaning).” are you F*#^ing kidding me?! the UK is looking more and more like Saddam’s Iraq. STOP HATEING YOUR KIDS YOU IDIOTS!!

    P.S (to the author)
    Good article!

  • Sigma

    Where I come from, the people who complain about other people’s perfectly ordinary behaviour (and lobby councils/write letters/generally make nuisances of themselves) are called NIMBYs (“Not in my backyard”). There’s enough of these lame-os in the world that, when communities get in the habit of listening to them, they can quickly play havoc.

    Generally, NIMBYs are best when ignored. Eventually they go back to bitching to their wives, who are better equipped to ignore them.

  • Sigma

    Where I come from, the people who complain about other people’s perfectly ordinary behaviour (and lobby councils/write letters/generally make nuisances of themselves) are called NIMBYs (“Not in my backyard”). There’s enough of these lame-os in the world that, when communities get in the habit of listening to them, they can quickly play havoc.

    Generally, NIMBYs are best when ignored. Eventually they go back to bitching to their wives, who are better equipped to ignore them.

  • Dick

    Why do they want to discourage ‘groups of teens’?
    It’s not like they’re doing any harm hanging out.
    When I was younger, we used to chill places and never get complaints. When the police turn up it’s just pointless. I suppose you do get people who go out to cause trouble or whatever, but that’s in certain areas. Spending so much time and money on this ‘issue’ is unnecessary.

  • Dick

    Why do they want to discourage ‘groups of teens’?
    It’s not like they’re doing any harm hanging out.
    When I was younger, we used to chill places and never get complaints. When the police turn up it’s just pointless. I suppose you do get people who go out to cause trouble or whatever, but that’s in certain areas. Spending so much time and money on this ‘issue’ is unnecessary.

  • Pingback: Delinquent Artist Hides Offensive Message In High School Yearbook Cover | We Interrupt

  • Anonymous

    I really don’t get why anyone between 20 and 13 are treated with such disrespect. Most adults judge teens simply because they are in that year group. Watch “V for Vendetta” – it’s basically what’s happening but a whole lot worse. Basically they’re watered down Nazis – a political group, who are prejudice against a certain group for no, or hardly any, reason. I bet they just love coming up with new and different ideas and inventions to course discomfort to teens. Besides they’re kind of shooting themselves in the foot because my 35 year friend has acne and he gets really embarrassed to go near the pink lights and two of my other (adult) friends can hear the Mosquitos (besides, they say that the things aren’t THAT annoying).
    Why is it so bad that young people have a social life, get out doors and see their friends – I’ve already heard rumors of a teen-only curfew.

    Great article though.

  • Anonymous

    I really don’t get why anyone between 20 and 13 are treated with such disrespect. Most adults judge teens simply because they are in that year group. Watch “V for Vendetta” – it’s basically what’s happening but a whole lot worse. Basically they’re watered down Nazis – a political group, who are prejudice against a certain group for no, or hardly any, reason. I bet they just love coming up with new and different ideas and inventions to course discomfort to teens. Besides they’re kind of shooting themselves in the foot because my 35 year friend has acne and he gets really embarrassed to go near the pink lights and two of my other (adult) friends can hear the Mosquitos (besides, they say that the things aren’t THAT annoying).
    Why is it so bad that young people have a social life, get out doors and see their friends – I’ve already heard rumors of a teen-only curfew.

    Great article though.

 

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