Thanks to The Daily Swarm for sharing this Craigslist ad from a bassist looking for work.
It’s an ad that any aspiring and professional musician, actor, writer, painter, artist of anytime can appreciate, mostly for it’s arrogance, demands and well blatant egotism.
Bass Player Available NOW (Nashville (only))
Bass player available for PAYING GIGS ONLY. I play G, C, D. If your
songs are not in G, please transpose them into G. If your song has an
Em or Bm or anything off the wall I will probably sit out that chord.
Or I could learn those notes for $30 each. If you want me to do fancy
stuff like go back and forth between G and D while you hold a G chord,
forget it because I’m a “pocket” player.
Minimum $100 per gig within a 5 mile radius of 37204. $5 per mile travel
charge for other areas out of town.
Please make sure your gigs are on a Metro Nashville bus route, or you can
pick me up at my place. Must be home by 11 pm due to previous legal hassles.
No gigs within 500 yards of schools, parks, or playgrounds.
Alas, if it was meant as a joke then it was brilliant at that.
But if it’s not, you’ve pretty much got a posting from a “player” who hasn’t mastered his art, who’s demanding pay without putting in the hours to learn how to play his tool and is this demanding in a city where talented and hardworking musicians flock to by the multitudes.