World much stupider than returning soldier remembered [TSA]

If you ever needed proof that we are lost in a sea of pointless rules designed to make traveling (and indeed life in general) more difficult than it ever needed to be, this is it.

The eminent minds at TSA saw fit to confiscate an armed soldier’s nail clippers because he might use them to take over the plane. At this point I would like to point out that he was not armed with nail clippers, he was armed with an assault rifle – which was apparently acceptable because it didn’t have bullets.

The icing on the cake, swabbing all of the soldiers returning from a war-zone for explosives residue… of course they all failed – but not as hard as the guy who kept swabbing.

In response to all of the comments, please read our update.



About the author: C. S. Magor


C.S. Magor is the editor-in-chief and a reporter at large for We Interrupt and Uberreview. He currently resides in the Japanese countryside approximately two hours from Tokyo - where he has spent the better part of a decade testing his hypothesis that Japan is neither as quirky nor as interesting as others would have you believe.



Editor's Picks

  • Dale

    An open letter to Janet Incompetano:

    Dear Maoist, Marxist Bulldyke::

    Your procedures at airports have the entire world laughing at you. The
    world (and especially the terrorists) know this for what it is: security
    drama. It is the appearance (or so you’d like us to believe) of security
    without one single vestige of actual security.

    If you truly wanted security at airports, you’d hire agents with an IQ
    slightly higher than my pet rock. You’d likely pay them bettter than the
    average McDonald’s cashier. If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

    Your practices are also a clear violation of the United States
    Constitution, a document you have sworn to defend and protect against all
    enemies, foreign and domestic. The biggest threat to the Constitution at
    this point in our history, Ms. Incompetano, is you, our Attorney General
    and our President.

    Get real, do you really think that fingernail clippers are a threat? Do
    you really think that sexually mollesting three year olds solves any
    problem? How dare you set low standards for hiring TSA agents (no rape
    convictions for ten years) and then give them the authority to choose
    which women to molest and then to molest them. Do you realize that you allow
    people to be hired as TSA agents who could not pass a background check to
    possess a concealed weapon in the state of Texas? Does this not seem patently
    absurd to you? It sure as hell does to me and any thinking, rational American.

    While I don’t particularly mind the world (and especially the terrorists)
    laughing at you, what irks me beyond any ability to communicate is that
    they are also laughing at my country and at me as one of its citizens. You
    further endanger Americans by forcing to be smarter than the average TSA
    agent, not a particularly difficult task, I refer you to my “pet rock” comment.

    I realize that writing this letter to you will result in my being put on
    the list of “Domestic Extremists”. To that, I can only quote Barry
    Goldwater (admittedly, you follow a somewhat different (Mao Tse Tung)
    path): “Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice, moderation in the
    name of justice is no virtue.” However, neither I nor my family (nor a
    single one of my friends with a choice) will fly until your draconian,
    marxist violations of the Constitution cease.

    What you do at airports is wrong. There is no possible justification.
    Another quote of which I am fond: “All that is necessary for evil to
    prevail is for good men to do nothing.”

    I feel it is time to put our lives, fortunes and sacred honor on the line
    to defend this nation from those who would turn it into something totally
    foreign to its founders.

    I will oppose you in every legal way at my disposal. I and many others
    will no longer do nothing while evil prevails. What you fail to realize
    is that this was “a nation of the people, by the people and for the
    people”. It was never intended to be of, by and for the beaurocrats.


    A proud domestic extremist

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  • Slightly Bruised Man

    Why is everybody talking about wether the soldier could have taken over the plane or not?
    The way I see it, the problem here (in this particular case) is that the soldiers even had to go through security in the first place.
    They shouldn’t have to go through security, because they ARE the fucking security! It is mindbogling to me that the men and women who are sent out to protect their nation agaisnt terrorists, are still not trusted enough to be let on a plane unchecked. Apparently YOU aren’t considered safe, even though YOUR JOB is to keep the rest of us safe. The government trust you enough to let you fight our enemies, and yet they still aren’t quite sure wether or not you yourself is an enemy.

    This is a nation (and indeed a world) run by paranoid, powerhungry psykopaths, who will stop at nothing to ensure their wealth and power. Even if it means that they have to take away every single one of the freedoms that our forfathers (and mothers) fought so valiantly to ensure!
    And the really scary part.?? We all sit back and let them do it…

    • Adsf

      I completely agree with your point, but your spelling and grammar are atrocious.

      • Sunemarker

        English isn’t my native language, so I suppose that explains it.
        But atrocious? You must not be aware of the grammatical standards usually found on the internet.

        Glaedelig Jul (merry Christmas)! 😀

    • Eatanorange

      Are you kidding me? Soldiers are people too, why shouldn’t they have to go through the same security as everyone else? The fact that they go to other countries to kill people shouldn’t give them special rights.

      We all respect our soldiers so much, but what we don’t realize is that, to the citizens of the countries they go to war in, THEY are the terrorists. Whether or not we win the war in Iraq doesn’t matter, the terrorists have already won.

      • Grew.up.Military

        I hope i NEVER see another person call our American Soldiers terrorists again…if you want to be mad at someone for the war in Iraq look to the executive branch of our government who we’ve given utter control. A soldier is NOT a terrorist they are HEROS, they are brave, wonderful people who decided to give their lives to our country in protection of all of us, our country, and they hope theyre fighting for whats right….however they get NO choice in where they fight or who they fight…military personnel are not considered citizens of america anymore after they enter did you know that? They are the property of our wrecked government we put to power….and people who join the military do so thinkin they are doing the world some good or saving their family, friends, and countries freedom…so we should look down on these people?? HELL NO! Are you “eatanorange” goin to go up to one of our soldiers after returning from a horrific tour in Iraq and tell him or her that THEY are the terrorists! that this is theyre fault!! If so then you sir are a completely screwed up person who was NO IDEA what it takes to be an american soldier and be in the military sacrificing your life and your rights for all the dumbasses that sit here and call them terrorists….is this the new “nam” where we spit on our armed forces when they return instead of making them feel like what they really are…HEROS no matter if the war the government is making them fight is right or wrong. If you wana call someone a terrorist point up to the people you voted into office…and hten go look in the mirror….b/c anyone who would downgrade our military soldiers is a terrorist and someone who doesnt know anything about anything.


    Common sense isrextremelly important… I wish it wasn’t educated out of us.

  • Chasbyrd

    This story is a fabrication. TSA hasn’t prohibited nail clippers for years — with the exception of those that also have a built in pen knife.

  • Judelol


  • David Alderman2002

    What is really funny is I just looked at the TSA website… apparently nail clippers ARE allowed on the aircraft… I had mine taken from me when I flew home from Japan too (US Navy)…. assholes….

    Print this and take it with you: (Dated May 2009, ALLOWS Lighers, no mention of nail clippers)
    and this one (it says on this one, dated 1 Mar 09 that all lighters are no-go, but the 2009 one changed the rules but this one does allow nail clippers)

  • Chris

    Here’s the thing – if the clippers have a pointy nail file in them, some of the TSA guys will consider them a stabbing weapon.

    The last time I traveled was in the March of this year and nail clippers were confiscated then.

  • Tired of niggers

    TSA only hires cheap-ass people who are willing to “work” for nine bucks an hour. F@$king pitiful.

  • Nautik

    Because there are no bullets… *points gun at TSA agent*… your sure about that right?

  • whyamistillawake?

    i think its amusing that reading the comments some of you people think you need to be a soldier to beat somebody to death with a huge lump of metal….let me take a crowbar and see if it works the same way, even though i havent been trained how to use it…. :/

  • Anonymous

    Wow, where the hell did you fly back into the country? The only time we got checked was through Navy customs in Ali Al Saleem. It’s beyond me what circumstances required you all to go through civilian checkpoints. That’s what happens though when you take military through civilian checkpoints.

  • jaques

    Name just one other then….

    • Celine

      What about the crusades? They weren’t about land, but it still works as being “one other” where Group A tried to force Group B, killing Group B on the way. This one did NOT happen in America. It couldn’t have, America didn’t exist. Also keep in mind all of the technology, science, and information we lost because Group A didn’t believe it should exist.

      Yeah, America did some pretty horrible shit when we took over the native Americans. What about China’s control over North Korea? I know “Braveheart” is just a movie, but it was based on real historical events: Scotland did not want to be part of Britain. Don’t even get me started on Nazi Germany. But in all of these situations, no one tells China that they are completely an awful nation. No one scoffs at Scotland. I definitely don’t blame all of Germany, especially this generation, for the ideals someone had no matter HOW horrid they were.

      Places get taken over, people get killed. It’s history, sorry that some of it is recent enough to be blogged/commented about, which is entirely a stretch in itself. I mean complaining about something happening 200 years ago, seriously. It reminds me of when African Americans that were born in the past 30 years claim that “because of slavery”, something is the way it is for them in particular. Anymore I feel that if you didn’t personally endure the issues of your nationality/race/religion, then shut up.

      In relation to the actual post about this soldier: It’s funny. The TSA was doing their job, and unfortunately they have to look like idiots with some stupid rules set by their higher-ups. The one that requested the soldiers be swabbed may have TRULY been the idiot here, wasting everyones time.

      • dude WTF

        i would like to add that these native americans who are held on a high horse in this debate RAIDED, MURDERED, and SCALPED men woman and children in homes on the frontier. they also attacked forts built to house, once again, men, woman, and children. so what does the world say when the “white man” with their “boomsticks” fought back and kicked ass good ole U.S.A. style? that we where in the wrong.. so pardon my french but shut the hell up and crack a book or two.

        • Questionableness

          Some of those women kidnapped actually enjoyed it. Even after being rescued by the white man they went back to the indian men because they were better at the job in bed. Just saying.

          • the dumbest person alive

            ain’t the internet great. Hey you didn’t hear that the natives liked being scalped? yeah after it was all said and done they adopted scalping themselves as a daily ritual..tool

        • Tkotis21

          they started killing us because we showed up on boats and snatched their land up and started shootin everybody. id scalp a village of white ppl too if they showed up and kicked me out of my house and were plotting the mass murder of my people, we as while ppl started this, u cant be upset that they tried to fight back, they were a proud people.

          • moldy caves

            It’s difficult for me to understand how a caucasian person can condemn their own descendants that explored and settled this land. They sure as hell weren’t gonna turn around and go back to Europe. The savages that were already here attacked, tortured and killed men women and children with impunity. That’s war people. They lost. They bit off more than they could chew and it was their undoing.

            I sure as hell don’t feel any remorse about the trail of tears. The savages dealt ALL the cards and paid the price.

          • jena

            moldy caves, you are the epitome of the despicable nature of human beings. It’s comments like this that make me lose my faith in humanity. I’m a southern, white Caucasian who was raised by racist grandparents and even I can discern from everyone else like them that you are the worst kind of person… because it isn’t playful, ignorant racism because you grew up with it and don’t know any better. It’s straight up hatred and ignorance.

          • Someone with a heart.

            You are a disgusting excuse for a human being.

        • whogivesaratsass

          White pioneers used to get paid for Native American scalps as proof for cleansing the land. They learned scalping from us. so you need to open another book too.

        • actuallyreads

          I like the people that instruct others to “crack a book” and dont know how to read themselves. I dont mean “crack open Army of Darkness DVD” either, dip. Maybe if you had read a history book beyond third grade you’d have realized the utter falsitude that you would like to impart on other barely smarter than ape degenerates like yourself. You think purposely killing an entire Race of People using biological warfare is any different than flying planes into buildings you feral dung beetle? Huh? Didnt hear you, all I hear is grunt grunt fart fart and then you defecated on yourself.

        • jena

          There were native american leaders who hoisted white flags of peace AND the american flag outside of their camps during their trek to our so-called “five star” reservations we had waiting for them, at which American forces saw these symbols of peace, invaded anyway, and killed all men, women, and children they could. Yeah, I guess you could say that’s “Good ole USA style ass kickin” alright. They defended their territory the same way anyone else would have if it had been invaded with the intent to take it over. In most cases, we killed for fun, greed, and out of pure hatred and racism.

          If someone invaded your personal home to take it over, and then proceeded to hold a shot gun to your wife and children and slaughter them, would you take well? Keep in mind that you’d live in the same world the Native Americans would live in: Nobody would represent you. No police. No courts. Nothing. It’s you against them. Would you hang your head to the ground, utter a simple “okay” and just move on? FUCK NO! You’d murder the son of a bitch, and possibly scalp him for good measure. And I’m pretty sure a hatred would grow inside you so strong that you’d want to kill anyone like him that had the same intentions.

          And keep in mind… those who went along with the government’s wishes and arrived at the reservations were promised land to till, a government supply of meat and food and clothing, and water. The government naturally put them in desert/barren areas where it was impossible to farm, we gave them maggot-enriched meat, and undrinkable water because they simply couldn’t be bothered. The majority of the country was just hoping they’d die off and stop being a pest.

          The buffalo were sacred to the Native Americans. We killed them for fun and put their bones in piles just to mess with him. Don’t believe me? Look it up.

          By the way, sir, I took your advice awhile ago. I didn’t just read about these horrendous acts, I went to college for this very subject. You may have cracked a book or two, but you obviously aren’t as well read as you think. Get back to hitting those books you hide behind as a facade for intelligence.

          Saying we discovered America and rightfully own it is the same as me saying I discovered a car in the parking lot and deemed it mine. Oh, was the owner is pissed, you ask? I gave him a place to stay in the trunk. It’s cool. At first his family was pretty combative about the whole ordeal. Nothing a shotgun can’t fix. My point is.. yes… the hostile takeovers of countries do happen but that doesn’t make the atrocities that come along with it moral or just. Don’t sit there and pretend like we don’t.. and shouldn’t know better. That it’s natural, and unavoidable. That is bullshit, and you know it. Saying that this has gone on for all of history as a way of justifying it is nothing but a cop out to allow yourself to sleep at night.

          • Bau

            thank you! great response

            -a real native american

        • Wolffacedb

          There are no records or historical primary source materials of Native Americans of any tribe scalping people. Additionally in traditional Native American war the women and children were not killed or raped. The men went out and fought the men.

          • Wolffacedbisaloser

            Are you kidding????? There are TONS of documented events of American Indians scalping humans!!! Open a book or talk to a tribal elder!!!!

      • idiots

        You guys are fucking retarded. All humans suck equally.

        • Ervina

          so Gandhi and MLK Jr. sucked as much as Hitler and Stalin? You might want to re-evaluate your statement.

          • Starson007

            Humanity is a disease and a blight on this planet. Yes Matrix is a movie but what they said is true, the only thing on this planet that is comparable to the way we live and procreate is a virus or bacteria…so yes MLK and Gandhi sucked just as much as Stalin and Hitler…All of you suck…haven’t you ever heard the saying that arguing on the internet is like running in the special Olympics? No matter if you win or lose you’re still retarded…

          • the dumbest person alive

            I think everyone is awesome. No two people are the same, everyone has a different story to tell, some good, some bad. Everyone is capable of bringing knowledge and experience through life lessons, making each of our lives important to society as a whole. If you and about 90% of this population would step away from the me, me, me, me thinking, maybe, just maybe, we could learn to become a productive and booming society once again.

          • Dtl5017

            Depends on your perspective…

    • Centrists

      Just one? can’t do it… just too many really good examples of Humans behaving badly.

  • Edwardarobles


  • Anonymous

    Nothing happened to your country while you were gone. The same morons that sent you are still here. Oh, that’s right, you volunteered…..

    • Guest

      A proffesionalized volunteer military coupled with exceptional advances in technology over the past 70 years is the primary reason why The United States is the preeminent world power. Therefore fuck you for even hinting that any soldier is any sort of lesser inteligence you fucking pussy.

      • James Smith

         No one said the soldier is of lesser intelligence.  It’s people that can’t use a spell checker that are the idiots.  “Proffesionalized”  What a moron you show yourself to be.

  • audaxish

    This sort of thing is exactly why I will not contribute to the USA economy as a tourist.

    • Big E

      Good!…we do not want you here in our country.

      • James Smith

         Then you stay in the USA.  When it collapses from greed, stupidity, and incompetence, you can starve like rats.  Just don’t expect to come here.  We don’t need morons like you.

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  • Yolandi H Cook

    Aggghhh….How weird. Those poor soldiers. They had to deal with so much crap already in combat–then they have to be hastled on their way back? Outrageous!

  • Forrestfrogg

    wtf people why r you talking about cowboys and indians when the story was about what you can and cannot take on a plane. fucking tools

  • Tom_pettengill

    couldn’t the soldier himself be considered a weapon?

  • Anonymous

    Stupider is not a word


    Now remember kiddies….arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics…Even if you win, you’re still retarded.

  • Kevin

    the terrorists are winning

  • Chinook808

    This post isn’t about Republicans and Democrats. It’s not about American settlers, or Native Americans. It is about a bunch of Soldiers who went to fight a war and were finally on there way home when they were treated not as the men and women the defend this country and the freedom to write our opinions on blogs such as this one, but as a threat to the very country that they spent the previous 12-15 months being bombed,rocketed, shot at defending. As a soldier, I understand the importance of National Security, but ladies and gentlemen, we are the very core of National Security.

    • Marc Anthony Starvaggi

      And who instilled those security precautions? Republicans, in an overreaction to 9/11.

  • guest

    The most effective way to improve airport security would be to give every passenger a gun and a full clip upon boarding the plane. I guarantee you anyone trying to hijack that plan would be dealt a swift and deadly barrage of bullets.

  • Foxergod

    its not against the law in arizona to possess eagle feathers if you native american and its part of your religion.

  • Skyway420

    The soldier is stupid for having “volunteered” to defend this stupid country full of stupid citizens who vote into office even stupider politicians. Get ready for the great melt down. I seem to remember that was what happened to Germany in the 1930’s. Remember, you are part of the problem if you try to defend these stupid people.

  • Gumbyclp

    Just an FYI, its spelled BOLOGNA, guys….

    • Anna K.

      My bologna has a first name, Oscar!

  • Eudonimo

    ‘The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

  • TruePatriot

    I LOL’d at how this soldier questions a guy following orders who is checking for weapons when he’s fine following orders to kill people in an unjust war.

  • Hcrouse

    I’m so pleased that your crappy government that less than a quarter of you saw fit to vote for, is fucking you out of your precious “liberty”. So very pleased.

  • Elcabong

    I call shenanigans! Why would a soldier be in a position to have to be screened by civilian TSA. Armed soldiers would travel by military transport to and from a military facility, not on a commercial plane to a civilian airport. When was the last time you walked through an airport and saw armed military personnel? Shenanigans!

  • Big E

    What I wonder is why these soldiers were on a commercial or chartered flight in the first place/…why were they not transported on a USAF cargo/passenger plane like a c-5 or a c-17 which can be quickly converted to a passenger plane.
    then they would not have to go through airport security.
    they shouldnt have to anyway.
    we are all being controlled and hardly anyone realizes it.

    and to those that whine and complain about how the USA is the evil empire….
    go live in another country and see how well it is, been there done that.
    USA is still the best country on the face of the planet, even if I dont like my Govt, I love my country!
    I fought for the right to speak freely!
    if you dont like America, leave it!

  • ThisGuyNamedJoe

    As an avid shooter, I always test positive. I am also military and thoroughly enjoy the stupidity of our airline security. It’s the biggest placebo of security fed to the masses.

  • Starson007

    of course its money…what else would it be? the business of America is business….btw i dont agree with this ideal but what are ya gonna do?

  • duha87

    ‘Someone who can hijack a plane with a pair of nail clippers can hijack a plane without a pair of nail clippers..’

  • STG

    You are a complete and total f@#king retard.

  • jameshac

    If you are referring to the nukes in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, here is a good argument. If we hadn’t nuked them, Americans would have lost the same amount of people in the war that were killed in the bombing. This is because the Japanese people were similar to Vietnam, where they would surrender to nothing less that a Nuclear attack. As for the “protectors of the world” part…..well just take a look at Libya and Egypt. I am an American, but I am in no way in love with it today. I just like to have some decent information on the internet, not this crap about how “Americans are fat pigs that try to get in everybody’s business and are hypocrites” bullshit.

    • shoegaze

       I don’t think he was talking about the nukes dude…guilty much?

  • Guest

    I had a $130 guitar strap confiscated at the airport by the TSA. Because it had bullets on it. Pewter ones. I don’t know how I was going to try and use them, especially since I had no intention of opening the guitar case at all during flight. But I suppose the TSA guy made a great argument – “What if someone on the plane saw this? Are you stupid or something? Man you really didn’t think this one through…” God forbid the one guy on the plane with x-ray vision looks through the case and SEES the safely stored away pewter-on-leather fake bullet strap in a case with – not a gun but a guitar.

  • Oohbla

    am i the only one who noticed the name has the “word” stuipder in it?


    u are a prick.  i am a screening officer and yes the rules can be stupid, and yes, they can seem senseless, but they are made up by experts from several fields and practiced at airports across the world.  Sorry to, Mr. I served in the military and went to war, but you don’t have a fuckin clue.  I did my time in the military, and because i did i understand the differences of domestic and foreign war zone practice and policies.  and to the guy who wrote this… you are a douche bag.  Seriously, these guys are here for your safety, do you even know why nail clippers were considered a threat to aviation safety.  I bet you don’t have a fuckin clue but if someone used those nail clippers as part of a zip gun or something that killed or took down a loved ones plane you’d be crying like a bitch about how TSA didn’t do their job and took the nail clippers from the guy.   Further more, you should know the rules, your not fucking special, deal with it or take a fucking boat or bus.

    • James Smith

      You are a perfect example of why TSA means Terminally Stupid Association.

      Not one thing the TSA has ever done would deter a real terrorist for even a minute.  Nothing you do contributes one iota to the safety of the USA.  What it does is provide employment for people like you that are too stupid to get a real job.

      I am not a real terrorist but, give me three or four assistants and a few days to train them and I can take over any commercial flight anywhere in the world.  Not one thing you are doing would cause me a second’s  concern.  Imagine what a genuine terrorist can do? 

      Tell me, wise guy, how many people in the world have been successfully attacked with nail clippers?  For that matter how many shoe bombers has there been.  Only one.  The “bomb” would not have done much damage to anything but his feet.  BTW, who caught that guy?  The TSA?  Airport security?  Airline crew?  No to all of those.  It was passengers.  So much for you morons. 

      The extreme ignorance shown by assholes like you are one of the reasons I am happy to now be living away from the US.>  I will never even visit that land of the dumb again. 

      You are an idiot and should be in a mental institution somewhere.

  • Kayce Jack Davis

    Ahhh! The theater of enhanced security for the illusion of greater safety.

  • Dlkjd

    Beware the little man with the little job, for he will always make your life hell – ms

  • stumbler

    I in no way approve of the invasion and attempted assimilation of one culture to another. But do bear in mind this happened everywhere. New Zealand was invaded by Europeans and the Native Maori culture was shunned for a long time, similar to Native Americans. But THIS WAS NOT A WAR WE FOUGHT. This is history. It is there to be learned from, not repeated on the internet. Everyone will walk away from this conversation with a sense that their culture had been disregarded and disrespected, only worsening the matter. Everyone should just stand up, brush the dirt from their knees, and shake hands. It’s just one of those things.

  • Dizzywildfire

    This always kind of boggles my mind is that TSA is so ridiculous with the service members. We’re in an organization that is fighting a war on terror. We swore to defend this country and everything it stands for. Why the hell would we blow up a plane? Especially one taking us home to our loved ones.

  • lashing hat

    this is what you fought for… i guess you get what you fought for.

  • Altitude5280

    And the tea baggers have upped the dumbness factor in this country.

  • AlienFromOuterSpace

    after reading the below Ican sea the geniral population of this planet is not vary smart and gets into fights with themselves and kills themselves over the stupid things, will not go here again!

  • Sherritt_42

    peace and harmony sounds very hippie…ish but weren’t hippies just doin they’re own thing???  anyways this whole old school American attitude has gone to far. Soon the tides will change, I hope I pray I don’t see it as a matter of when but when but who will embark on an endless en devour against the rich, greedy capitalist pricks that create dumbass laws, rules and regs. small minded and tunnel vision out, big picture outside the box thinkers, in!
    positive change is required, humankind needs a major upgrade. Dec 12, 2012????

  • Anonymous

    TSA inspections are a make-work project for otherwise marginally employable New World bozos.  And a stellar example of closing the barn doors after the horses are nigh in the the next county.  


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