Random Groin Kicker Ruptures Victim’s Testicle

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A man walking alone near a McDonald’s in Langley, British Columbia, was dealt a savage kick to the groin in what seemed to be a random attack.

The assailant is described as a brunette, Caucasian woman aged in her 20s or younger. She wore high heels when she kicked her 22-year-old victim so hard that one of his testicles ascended into his abdomen.

Initially it was thought that surgery could repair the damage, unfortunately, it had ruptured and he woke from anesthesia to the news that it had been removed.

Police believe that this is not the first time that the assailant has struck, with three similar attacks reported in September alone.

According to the victim, who has declined to be named:

She didn’t say anything to me. I thought either she is really disgruntled with her boyfriend and I was the first male she saw or she’s disturbed. My mom heard from some constables that this is the third time in the past month this has happened. One of the times happened at night.

The victim noted that his attacker said nothing to him, either before or after the attack.

Langley RCMP are concerned that some men might not have come forward about the attacks, and that they are turning to a crime analyst to track the attacks.

Check out an interview with the victim here.

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C.S. Magor is the editor-in-chief and a reporter at large for We Interrupt and Uberreview. He currently resides in the Japanese countryside approximately two hours from Tokyo - where he has spent the better part of a decade testing his hypothesis that Japan is neither as quirky nor as interesting as others would have you believe.
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