Man Cleared Of Using Supermarket Scales For Genital Weigh-in

An Edinburgh court cleared a man who stood accused of using the fruit and vegetable scales at a supermarket to weigh his genitals.

Scotmid staff reported seeing James Jones, 33, and another man exposing themselves in the store – a sight that reportedly left them, “too shocked to speak”.

Shop assistant Melanie Guglielmino told court:

I was pushing my trolley from the warehouse into the aisle and I saw two guys at the scales at the fruit and veg section.

One of them said: “We are just weighing our private parts,” but he used a different word.

I saw him putting it back in his trousers and closing his flies. I was too shocked to speak to any of them. I was really shocked that they said they wanted to weigh their private parts.

I was quite embarrassed and I’m still embarrassed to say anything about it. I thought he was actually a nice customer before this because I had seen him before and thought he was a friendly guy.

According to STV, CCTV footage from the store’s camera showed Jones standing on a stool in front of the scales; however, as both of the men had their backs to the camera, it was impossible to be sure of what they were doing.

Forty-five-year-old manager, Agnes Fagan, who turned the footage over to police, explained:

They got a stool and took it over to the scales and they looked like they had their penises out on the scales. They were giggling, they were laughing and having a pure carry on.

It was quite disgusting if they were doing what it looked like they were doing. What if there had been a child or one of my members of staff?

Jones, a father of three, denied the allegations, though he did concede that he had been drunk at the time.

When he was asked by police:

Did you tell a member of staff, “I’m just seeing how much my dick weighs”?

Jones replied:

I stood on the stool pissing about a bit, but I can’t remember what I was doing. I never got it out. I have been framed.

He was acquitted after a four-hour trial, with Sheriff Neil MacKinnon noting:

The standard of proof is a high one but I am unable to conclude that the precise act did take place.

While the law might err on the side of caution, one would hope that the supermarket does as well and sees to it that those scales are replaced, or at the very least sterilized; as I’m sure that customers don’t want to put their groceries where James Jones might have weighed his meat and two veg.