Murder Suspect Claims Innocence–Because He’s Too Fat

edwardatesAP_450x300In what is sure to be the first of many such defenses, a 40-year-old pharmaceutical executive accused of murdering his son-in-law maintains he is innocent.

His reasoning?  Because he’s too fat to have committed the crime.

Edward Ates is 285 lbs and, according to his lawyer, in terrible physical shape.  Therefore he couldn’t have climbed up and down the staircase where prosecutors claim Ates shot and killed his daughter’s husband, Paul Duncsak.

Yeah, right.

While I doubt the veracity of Ates’ claim, it may be enough to produce reasonable doubt in the jurors minds.  And from what I learned watching “Law & Order,” that’s all it takes for Ates to get off. []


Jeff Greenwell is the writer/editor of Last Angry Fan. Jeff has been known to rock a Speedo while belting out Robert Goulet tunes from his front porch, and in his spare time he enjoys capturing and training feral goats to be his minions. Also known to dig a nice brick of cheese from time to time.
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