Christians worried about your pets after Saturday’s rapture? There’s an atheist for that

By now you’ve heard that there’s a group of people out there—led by former NYC transit worker Robert Fitzpatrick—who believe that this Saturday, the 21st of May, is judgement day.  The end of the world.


If you’re one of the lucky ones who gets called to God’s kingdom before the end of the world, no doubt you’re wondering what will happen to your beloved pets when you’re gone.  Well, stuff your worries in a sack mister, because the atheists are here to help.

In 26 states, atheists have set up companies to tend to the pets left behind by Christians.  The only stipulation—you have to pay up front.


“You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes, what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind?” Eternal Earth-Bound Pets says on its website, offering to “take that burden off your mind.”

The post-doomsday pet rescue service already has 259 clients, who have paid $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to ensure the faithful animal companions are looked after and loved even when their Christian owners have gone to the other side.

Kind of takes the burden off doesn’t it.  And it’s only money, something those who are bound for an eternal afterlife with Jesus Christ absolutely won’t need.

Wonder if they hire agnostics, because I could really use the extra money.



Jeff Greenwell is the writer/editor of Last Angry Fan. Jeff has been known to rock a Speedo while belting out Robert Goulet tunes from his front porch, and in his spare time he enjoys capturing and training feral goats to be his minions. Also known to dig a nice brick of cheese from time to time.
4 Comments on this post.
  • Marc Cram
    20 May 2011 at 8:48 am
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  • James Smith
    20 May 2011 at 11:43 am
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    I have personally made the offer to test the depth of their belief.  I offer them the opportunity to turn all of the worldly assets to me, effective 12:01 AM May 22, 2011.  I agree, in writing, to use at least 50% of their assets to relieve suffering in the world after they are” in rapture”.   That way, they can continue to do good works even as they sit with jesus.  Surely they can’t see anything but good in that? 

    Sadly, I have had no takers, even though I have made the offer frequently and publicly.  I wonder if their belief is as shallow as a kiddie wading pool or perhaps they simply don’t care about anyone left behind.  If the latter, they probably aren’t doing any good works, now.

  • We’re still here and post-judgment day life is pretty awesome
    21 May 2011 at 4:03 am
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    […] 1 day ago Christians worried about your pets after Saturday’s rapture? There’s an atheist for that […]

  • James Christie
    21 May 2011 at 6:26 pm
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    Thank god for atheists.

  • Leave a Reply



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