Thief uses tractor-trailer to steal $800 sex toy

I don’t know what’s more incredible—the fact that the robber used the semi-truck to smash into the sex shop, or that there’s a sex toy out there that retails for $800.

Cops in Lorain County, Ohio are searching for said burglar who stole a transport truck, then used it to smash into an AdultMart in order to steal an $800 sex toy that is described as “basically the lower half of a female body.”

Wait…for just under $1,000 you only get the lower half?  For that much you’d think you’d get the most lifelike, realistic sex doll imaginable.  You’d think so, but you’d be wrong.

From Fox 8 Cleveland

“Definitely weird. It’s kind of crazy to steal a vehicle that’s that expensive to break into a story to get some kind of sex toy,” said Det. Tony Kovacs, with the Lorain County Sheriff’s Department.

“[The burglar] used it to back into the AdultMart, smashing the glass door of the store and ran inside to steal a sex toy basically,” Kovacs said.

When a deputy saw the sex toy snatcher, the guy jumped out, ran and got away.

Besides the extensive damage to the store, there was also several thousands of dollars worth of damage to the stolen truck owned by John Tirbaso, proprietor of JT Container Recycling in Elyria.  Worst part is, John is on the hook for the damages to his semi, as the thief is still at large, and he doesn’t even get to enjoy the sex toy.

Double whammy.

Like I said, the sex shop burglar is still on the loose, but he (or she) shouldn’t be hard to find…unless there’s an overabundance of people in Ohio walking around with the synthetic lower half of a naked woman.

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Jeff Greenwell is the writer/editor of Last Angry Fan. Jeff has been known to rock a Speedo while belting out Robert Goulet tunes from his front porch, and in his spare time he enjoys capturing and training feral goats to be his minions. Also known to dig a nice brick of cheese from time to time.
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