E. Thomas Drakes

  • bugatti

    Former owner of totaled Bugatti sued for insurance fraud

    Two years ago, auto dealer Andy House (not to be confused with Gregory House, M.D.) ran his $1.2 million Bugatti Veyron EB into a Galveston, TX lagoon, causing irreparable salt water damage to the engine.  The cause?  A seagull.  According to House, he veered off Interstate 45 when he...
  • dumb apology

    Unapologetic teen schools victims in ‘apology’ letter

    A 16-year-old convicted burglar in Leeds was sentenced to a 12-month supervision program which included writing letters of apology to his victims.  As it turns out, this simple step backfired, proving the youth lacked both remorse and a proper grasp of grammar. The unnamed boy’s scathing treatise against open...
  • jamie cunningham

    Despite terrible hair, British man sires 15th child

    34-year-old Jamie Cumming is prolific, to say the least.  Living off national benefits in Britain, the man’s 15th child to a 19-year-old ex-girlfriend was born two weeks ago, and his current 19-year-old girlfriend is expected to give birth at any moment.  Just to add icing to that cake, a...
  • alfe

    Man accidentally deep-fries his leg [w/William Shatner PSA]

    It was just another lazy November afternoon in Mount Prospect, and Serafino Alfe was deep-frying turkeys for an annual fundraiser.  But at a critical moment, Alfe tripped on a piece of cardboard and found his footing where the turkey should’ve been. As a result, “I tripped and fell right...
  • fox news

    Unsurprising news of the day: Fox News viewers know less than non-viewers

    Though it’s been widely shown that Fox News actively misinforms its viewers, and in one study, FOX News viewers are more likely to believe false news reports, the latest study from Fairleigh Dickinson University shows that the ‘fair and balanced’ network’s viewers actually know less about world affairs than...
  • firebird

    Elderly Oregon man is sued when car thieves are injured in wreck

    Today’s frivolous lawsuit story is brought to you by 35-year-old Joseph Dinwiddie, suing 89-year-old George Hinnencamp for injuries sustained during a car wreck.  However, Hinnencamp was not driving; in fact, Dinwiddie was driving drunk in Hinnencamp’s car, having stolen it just moments earlier. Hinnencamp had previously hired Dinwiddie for...
  • scott

    Sex tapes, bongs and child porn: The Sad Tale of Christopher Thomas Scott

    Twenty-year-old Christopher Thomas Scott has been arrested in Pennsylvania on a broad spectrum of charges after an initial investigation related to a sex tape he posted on the Internet, featuring himself and a woman he briefly dated. The sordid begins with Scott dating a now-24-year-old unnamed woman.  He coerced...
  • philome cesar

    FAIL: When robbery suspect self-represents, self-incrimination ensues

    Philome Cesar, charged with twenty-five counts of armed robbery following a three-month all-you-can-rob buffet of Pennsylvania businesses, made the fateful decision to self-represent.  For the most part, Cesar’s defense has been effective, arguing that because the robber was wearing a fishnet mask, the real robber could only be identified...
  • turducken

    PETA requests Turkey, TX change its name to ‘Tofurky’ for Thanksgiving

    On Thanksgiving, there’s plenty of sites with historical significance, like Plymouth Rock.  And then there’s places with zero historical significance but a name nonetheless, like Turkey, Texas. But evidently, PETA does not take lightly to towns named after delicious birds and has requested that, for Thanksgiving Day, Turkey change...