Animal abuse is never funny, except when it involves a drunk woman and a duck, so long as the duck is OK when all is said and done. And in this story, the duck turns out just fine, so we can make light of the fact that this woman was arrested for not only being drunk in public, but for beating up a poor, defenseless duck.
Unless the duck had it coming to him. In that case, duck got what he deserved.
Santa Cruz police were called to a business address this past Saturday following complaints of said woman being obviously drunk and tossing around a duck.
From the Santa Cruz Sentinel…
According to a Santa Cruz Sheriff’s Office, deputies received a call that a woman was drunk and was refusing to leave a business just after 4 p.m. The caller also said the woman was throwing a duck to the ground and apparently also trying to strangle it with some sort of leash.
When officers arrived at the scene, deputies found an intoxicated woman throwing the duck around. It was not immediately known whether the duck was wild or domesticated, or if it was the woman’s pet.
I’m going to assume the duck was the woman’s pet, what with the leash and all. I don’t know what I would find stranger—a drunk woman walking down the street with a duck on a leash before turning on it, or a drunk woman capturing a wild duck just to beat the crap out of it. All I know is, the duck got the short end of the stick in this tale.
The not-yet-identified woman was charged with public intoxication, while our our friendly fowl was taken to a local animal shelter to be evaluated. Wonder if they’ll send the duck’s abuser the…wait for it…bill?
Comedy—sometimes it writes itself.
