PepsiCo defends lawsuit by claiming that a bottled mouse would be jellified

In a lawsuit against PepsiCo, where a Wisconsin man named Ronald Ball claims to have found a dead mouse inside a can of Mountain Dew, Pepsi’s expert witness Laurence McGill, a veterinarian, says that a mouse in a can would have turned to jelly had it been trapped in their canning process. His exact words were “It would have dissolved into a jelly-like substance.”

McGill said within a week of a mouse being submerged in a fluid with the acidity of Mountain Dew, the mouse would have no calcium in its bones and bony structures, the abdominal structure would rupture and the cranial cavity would also likely rupture. Within thirty days, the structure of the mouse would not be recognizable. He added that by then, it would have amounted only to a jelly-like substance.

This is good news, and bad news. The good news is that even if there was ever a mouse in a can somewhere, or a vat, or anywhere in their manufacturing process, it would not make it intact into your can. Sadly though, the bad news here outweigh the good ones and I’ll be as politically correct and weigh my words: Mountain Dew probably contains a certain percentage of jellified mouse.

Squeak squeak!


Limited production music, fiction and comedy. Actually, very limited. To follow on Twitter: Child of Glass
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