Even before you read this you knew it had to be Florida, didn’t you? It’s always Florida (when it’s not Ohio).
Pictured here is—are you ready for this one—54-year-old Jackemeoff Mudd, a South Florida gentleman who was picked up last week by the Broward Sheriff’s Office on multiple charges, including assault, disorderly conduct, resisting an officer/obstruction without violence and possessing alcohol in a public area.
Somehow Jackmeoff was able to avoid being charged with having an hilariously inappropriate name.
Mr. Mudd is currently being held on $300 bond at a Broward County Jail. I’m sure any man with a handle like his will have lots of friends who can scrounge up the cash to bail him out of jail, because hey, who wouldn’t want to hang out with a dude named Jackmeoff? I know I would, just so I can hear the name Jackmeoff Mudd on the overhead paging system at various establishments that we would frequent. And yes, I would be the one having my inappropriately named companion paged overhead.
In much the same way being given the name Jeeves guarantees you future employment as a butler, being blessed with a moniker like Jackmeoff—whether by your parents or a legal name change—kind of pigeonholes you for a specific career path (read: crime).
