ultraviolence

  • Woman Gets Home Detention For ‘Surprise’ Head Hammering

    A Utah woman received 30 days of home detention after she blindfolded her husband and told him that she was going to give him a surprise… then hit him on the head with a hammer. Amy Teresa Ricks, 37, pleaded guilty to second-degree felony aggravated assault in February. The...
  • UK Postal Workers Boycott House Over Vicious… Old Cat

    Farsley, England: Postal workers never know what they are going to encounter when they deliver mail; angry homeowners, aggressive guard dogs, vicious cats… While one could be forgiven for pointing his or her fingers and scoffing at the suggestion that a 19-year-old cat could terrify postal workers so much...
  • Teacher Gets Ax For Inciting Chuck E. Cheese Smackdown

    Houston, Texas: Good intentions weren’t enough to save a private school teacher from the ax after it was found that they had encouraged students to hit a 5-year-old boy that had just punched a girl. The AP reported that the incident occurred during a school field trip to a...
  • Bride Exposed Breasts Then Slammed Bouncer With Stiletto Heel

    Swansea, the United Kingdom: Sharon Hancox chose her wedding night to settle a presumed score with a bouncer that she claimed had sexually assaulted her two years previously, with a stiletto heel to the head. Metro reports that the 40-year-old Hancox had spent the night toasting her betrothal to...
  • Home Invaders Sought Legal Fees

    Holly Hill, Florida: Two men stand accused of breaking into an apartment and threatening to kill or harm its resident, because of an unsettled legal bill. The Daytona Beach News Journal reported Holly Hill Police Chief Mark Barker as saying: They demanded $3,200 the victim owed to attorney Ron...
  • Felonious Leprechauns Shot Dead On St. Patrick’s Day

    Gallatin, Tennessee: Two men dressed as leprechauns, who were suspected of having robbed a bank on St. Patrick’s Day, are reported to have died of gunshot wounds after a shootout with police. The two suspects, who have yet to be identified, allegedly disabled a patrol car and fired at...
  • Job Center Apologizes For Ejecting Jedi Via Force

    Southend, Essex, UK: Chris Jarvis, 31, scored a point for Star Wars fanatics when he received a formal apology over a force-related incident that occurred at an employment center. Jarvis, a member of The International Church of Jediism, was told to remove his hood or leave his local branch...
  • Cellphone Use During Movie Leads to Vicious Attack

    Cellphones, despite all the benefits they provide (ie. safety, security, accessibility, enhanced productivity), are still a nuisance to many.  Especially anyone sitting within 10 feet of someone using a cellphone during a movie–which is why theaters kindly ask patrons to shut their cellphones off during shows. Most people adhere...
  • Man Assaulted After Purchasing Crack With Monopoly Money

    I’m not a drug dealer, never have been a drug dealer, and I don’t ever plan on being a drug dealer.  However, despite my lack of experience in the world of selling illegal drugs, I’m pretty sure that dealers prefer to be paid in real money–not Monopoly money. Actually,...