unlikely

  • Potato successfully removed from vicar’s anus

    A vicar aged in his 50s, and who shall remain nameless (for obvious reasons) is said to have sought medical attention at Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital after an unfortunate incident involving a potato and his posterior. According to the UK’s Metro, the vicar in question assured staff that the...
  • Judgment Day in T minus 52 minutes and counting

    In case you hadn’t heard, some crackpot preacher from Oakland has predicted that all good Christians are going to be whisked up to heaven at 6 p.m. local time. With my love of the fast life and my lack of religion I am apparently going to be subjected to...
  • Man’s home hit by sixth metorite, alien shenanigans suspected

    A 50-year-old Bosnian man believes that aliens are behind the meteorites that have repeatedly struck his home since 2007. Experts at Belgrade University, have confirmed that the six rocks handed to them by Gornji Lajici have all been meteorites; all of which struck his roof on rainy days. After...
  • Six drown in giant vat of tomato sauce

    Six workers at a factory in India died after drowning in a giant vat of tomato sauce. The Indian Express reported that a female worker slipped and fell into the 6m deep tank vat. Five colleagues jumped into help and all six were killed by the fumes given off...
  • Scientists Claim: Presence of Beautiful Women Bad For Health

    Research undertaken at the University of Valencia has seen scientists arrive at a startling conclusion: beautiful women are bad for men’s health. The issue is to do with a hormone, namely cortisol, which is produced by the body under stressful conditions. One of those conditions, it seems, is being...
  • Man Left Blind After Four-day Computer Game Marathon

    A Chinese man presented at a hospital with blindness after playing computer games non-stop for four days. The man, who has been identified as Xu, a businessman who hails from Xining, Qinghai province, is said by China Daily to have entered a cyber cafe after an argument with his...