Setting fire to gasoline soaked testicles will burn

“It was an accident,” Andrew Williams said in a telephone interview with the Ocala Star-Banner on Saturday afternoon. He added that his girlfriend didn’t know it was going to happen.

Here are the Cliff notes as to what authorities think occurred: Williams, a 42 year old man, watched as his girlfriend poured gasoline on his testicles, then set fire to them. If that sounds familiar then Jeff Foxworthy will tell you that you might be a redneck.

I don’t know if any of you guys out there have ever poured cologne on your ball sack by mistake (don’t ask), but that burns like hell. So just imagine gasoline. As if that wasn’t enough, consider now, how you might have felt if your girlfriend set fire to said gasoline. What really gets me though, is the above quote, where Williams says that his girlfriend didn’t know what was going to happen.

It’s gasoline, you set fire to it, what were you expecting? Unicorns to sprout from your boyfriend’s genitals? A rainbow to appear? The Lucky Charms leprechaun  to dance at the end of said rainbow with a pot of gold?

At least though, they didn’t set off on a flooding river, aboard a blow-up doll re-purposed as a raft.

NewsRandom Absurdity

Limited production music, fiction and comedy. Actually, very limited. To follow on Twitter: Child of Glass
No Comment

Leave a Reply



Editor's Picks