Surrey Storm Surge ride declared haunted, has been relocated.

I can imagine the board meeting from here;

-“We’d like a budget to move the Storm Surge ride mr.President”.

-“Why might I ask?”

-“Well, sir, we think it’s haunted because it’s built on a burial ground so we reckon that moving it will stop the haunting.”

Employees at the park kept complaining that stuff was moving around, the building staff spotted a headless monk, later, a forensic geophysicist was called in to examine what kind of ground the ride was built over and he said: “From the preliminary investigations, we have picked up signatures similar to that of a burial ground – possibly ancient. Although this could simply be an old building, with Thorpe Park’s history the investigation is definitely worth continuing.”

The part that gets me is where the forensic geophysicist (pictured at right), says that the burial ground is possibly ancient. As opposite to a more modern, less haunted burial ground.

As an avid viewer, at least for the first four seasons of Supernatural (before the show got all about people dying, spending time in hell, being resurrected by God himself only to then be chased around by evil angels, also, still no Great Dane in the show, etc.) they made it very clear that hauntings begin moments after people are killed, possibly in the most unexpected and violent way available, not centuries later for no apparent reason other than recycling the actual ground for a better purpose, like an amusement park or a red light district.

Keep in  mind that there have been people living in England for several millenniums and face it; People die. I’m not going to bore you with the arithmetic involved but considering the incredible amount of wars they’ve been involved in, I’d expect that there should be a layer of dead people underlying the whole island of Great Britain. Following that logic, the whole country could thereby be haunted.

Especially an area in Worcestershire, south of Birmingham called Acock’s Green.

Random Absurdity

Limited production music, fiction and comedy. Actually, very limited. To follow on Twitter: Child of Glass
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