Now you can wipe your butt with an American classic thanks to this eBay auction

Looking for a special gift for the person who loves classic American novels and toilet paper, because if you are your long, exhausting search is over.  Although the eBay auction ended earlier today, chances are the seller will relist this one-of-a-kind item, Herman Melville’s opus Moby Dick hand-typed on four-and-a-half rolls of never used toilet paper.

The item is the end result of a friendly wager between two friends that the seller coudln’t, or wouldn’t, be able to transfer an entire novel onto toilet paper.  The anonymous eBayer won the bet, and now 10 years later decided it was time to see if anyone else would be interested in either a unique copy of Moby Dick, or some overpriced toilet paper.  Alas, with a starting bid of $999.95 U.S., no one was very interested in either option.

Maybe the seller, known as the_heppcat, might consider dropping the price a wee bit, like down to $9.95 or something.  Surely then someone would bid on this strange oddity.  I’m sure someone out there harbors ill will towards Moby Dick after a bad experience in high school English, and would undoubtedly like to extract some amount of revenge by wiping their soiled backsides with Melville’s novel.

Call me Ishmael?  Only if it’s two-ply and quilted.




Jeff Greenwell is the writer/editor of Last Angry Fan. Jeff has been known to rock a Speedo while belting out Robert Goulet tunes from his front porch, and in his spare time he enjoys capturing and training feral goats to be his minions. Also known to dig a nice brick of cheese from time to time.
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