While men worldwide continue the struggle to place a word in edgewise with their spouses, their spouse’s mom, or when confronted by Fred Flintstone’s mother in law, scientists, you guessed it, in Japan, have invented a speech-jamming gun. The gun is simple to use, just point at the motor mouth and pull the trigger. Although it looks much more like a police radar gun than a normal handgun, it has proven effective.
It works by playing back the words one speaks at a .2 second interval, thus creating an echo effect which throws off the person talking, usually causing them to cease yapping and look around with an utterly confused expression on their face. An expression similar to the one George W.Bush has in most of his photos.
So far uses that have been thought for the silencer gun are, for instance in court, to make “order” or to silence large crowds at town meetings. Obviously civil rights advocates are getting up in arms about this apparatus, that could prevent citizens from speaking their minds. But then again, civil rights advocates are up in arms about everything, from forcing that poor groundhog to come out of its lair on Groundhog Day, to miniature golf courses where garden gnomes are used for decoration.
Having said that, as a married man, with one daughter, and as the lone male sibling to two sisters in my family, I welcome with open arms this invention, which promises to allow me to speak from time to time, and allow me to take my chocolate shoes, and stick my feet in my mouth more efficiently.