For those of you who love the savory taste of finely cooked bacon—and that’s pretty well everybody now, isn’t it—prepare yourself for the most terrifying scenario your bacon-loving hearts will ever face…a worldwide bacon shortage in the year 2013. At least that’s what Britain’s National Pig Association says, and they should know, seeing that they’re the foremost experts on all things pork related.
From the NPA…
New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests.
In my best Charlton Heston impersonation from the classic Planet of the Apes: “You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell! ”
If you’re wondering what to do to combat the forthcoming bacon shortage, the U.S. isn’t saying much, but we may have to follow the lead of our British allies, who are launching the “Save our Bacon” campaign, which encourages Britons to buy strictly British grown pork products.
If the unthinkable does happen and the world’s supply of bacon runs out, at least we’ll always have Kevin Bacon and his body of work. The man’s a national treasure, although not as tasty as those sizzling strips of fried gold, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t make a BLT out of tomato, lettuce and Kevin Bacon.