Armored pajamas protect wearer from unexpected crotch shots

When his four-year-old son kicked him in the testicles, Hugh McGuinness didn’t get angry – he saw opportunity. It was the painful experience of an accidental nighttime kick from his son Cameron that gave him the idea for his armored pajamas.

McGuinness told

My son Cameron, who is now four, used to sleep in the bed with us. Basically, I thought it would be a good idea to have crotch protection in case he kicks in his sleep.

His pajamas have been submitted to an invention competition, which closes on September 16.

At the time of his interview, the 45-year-old inventor and genital trauma survivor seemed confident:

I would buy them. When I have mentioned it to other fathers, you could see the pain in their eyes. It can be funny, but it is painful when it happens.

McGuinness’ next invention is a design along similar lines, for “men” who carry their children in a papoose, which as he points out, brings the testicles in direct line with kicking feet. This author posits that it may be acceptable for a man to do this under one of three conditions: 1) The father is the parent of twins and he has been tricked into carrying both; 2) The father has two small children that may both require carrying; or 3) The father is nursing an injury attained in a manly pursuit like offshore fishing, big game hunting or cage fighting.


C.S. Magor is the editor-in-chief and a reporter at large for We Interrupt and Uberreview. He currently resides in the Japanese countryside approximately two hours from Tokyo - where he has spent the better part of a decade testing his hypothesis that Japan is neither as quirky nor as interesting as others would have you believe.
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