You’ve Never Eaten Kobe Beef

Remember that time you went to that restaurant in Manhattan and were feeling extra jazzy so you ordered the over-priced Kobe beef sliders? And you remember how when you took the first bite you had that Andrew Zimmern-like reaction where you acted like you just tasted what the sweet oxygen in heaven tastes like? Yeah bad news, you were duped. Unless you have been to Japan, you almost certainly have never had actual Kobe. Why? Because it is illegal to import meat from Japan in this country…any meat from Japan, including Kobe beef, or the cheaper impostor that you may have tried if you ordered Kobe in America before 2010. Not one single slaughterhouse in the Hyogo prefecture, where Kobe is the capital, has been approved by the USDA for export. So unless you were lucky enough to get a hold of something that was smuggled in a Japanese man’s boxer-briefs, you officially ate and over-paid for cow meat from the Midwest, Great Plains, South America or Australia, because the restaurant that served it to you sold it as Kobe beef. And though Kobe is trademarked in Japan, said Trademark is not recognized in the great US of A. So beware when Mickey D’s starts slingin’ their McKobe for the low, low price of $29.99 with fries and a soda. If you want to check out the in-depth version of how this myth was exposed, check out the story right here. And next time, just go with the chicken fingers. Those are always safe.

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