dummkopf

  • Russian man tried to stab his way out of jail prophecy

    A Russian man was sentenced to 22 years in a maximum security prison after a fortune teller told him something that he didn’t want to hear. On October 8 of last year Gennady Osipovich met a Gypsy fortune teller who told him that he was headed for “kazyonny dom”,...
  • Man calls 911 for ride to liquor store, gets arrested for possession of pot

    A St. Augustine, Florida man was arrested for misuse of 911 and possession of marijuana after he failed to heed warnings not to call emergency services to ask for a lift to the liquor store. The St. Augustine Police Department allege George McMurrian, 57, called 911 twice Saturday to...
  • Man attacked vending machine with hatchet to free person trapped inside

    A 47-year-old Idaho man proved that no good deed goes unpunished when he was arrested for using a hatchet to break into a vending machine to free a person that had apparently been trapped inside. The problem for Chris P. Collins was that person inside the vending machine was...
  • Robber calls to express dissatisfaction with haul

    An armed bandit who robbed a Wendy’s in Atlanta was so dissatisfied with his haul that he called the restaurant, twice, to complain about the lack of money in the till. The thief allegedly walked up to the drive-through window wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. The...
  • Dummkopf self-detonates dismantling found grenade

    A 53-year-old Croatian man is in a serious condition after he decided disassemble a hand grenade that he found while out on a walk. The man, who has been identified as Marko S. found the unexploded grenade, a remnant from the 1991-95 Homeland War, in a field near his...
  • French man, “Millionaire” audience demonstrate disturbing lack of scientific knowledge

    In fairness, there could be a few responses to the question, what rotates around the Earth. What with all the man-made stuff in orbit and all – but none of those things were any of the multiple choice options to this question. Our intellectually challenged contestant is right that...
  • Clumsy German “cheaters” fall from window

    A pair of German lovers found themselves with broken bones and head wounds after an afternoon rendezvous went terribly, terribly wrong. People from neighboring apartments said that they witnessed the pair having sex in the window before they fell 5 meters to the ground below. It is a claim...
  • 4Chan sends Bieber to N. Korea

    The merry band of sometimes creepy pranksters that inhabit 4Chan has spread some of its love in Justin Bieber’s direction. Justin Bieber ran a Twitter contest in which he allowed fans to nominate his next destination. Anonymous did his or her thing and the boards listened. Two days and...
  • Man rides giant crocodile, alcohol involved

    A tourist was lucky to survive with major lacerations to his leg after he protested his ejection from a pub in Broome, Western Australia by climbing the fence of a crocodile enclosure and attempting to ride one of the inhabitants. Fatso, a five-meter male, did not care to be...