Pennsylvania man charged with masturbating while driving claims he was just manscaping his junk

When you think about it, one excuse is really no more acceptable than the other.  Whether it be masturbating or manscaping, if it involves exposing your junk while driving, it’s probably not a good exercise to undertake.

Last year 48-year-old Guy Labar, a Bethlehem Area School District employee, was arrested and charged with indecent exposure, open lewdness and disorderly conduct after he purposely sped up and slowed down while driving next to a truck driver, exposing his genitals in the process.

From The Morning Call

Labar was assistant supervisor of transportation for the Bethlehem district when he was charged last year with indecent exposure, open lewdness and disorderly conduct. Superintendent Joseph Roy said Tuesday that Labar has resigned his position.

State police said that early on Oct. 24, Labar exposed himself to a truck driver on Route 33 in Bushkill Township near the Wind Gap exit.

Labar had his car’s dome light on and sped up and slowed down as the truck driver did, police said. In an interview with a trooper, Labar admitted he was driving with his genitals exposed, according to court records.

The truck driver and cops maintain that Labar was not only exposing himself, but masturbating as well.  But Labar has a differen, although much less plausible, explanation, which he detailed prior to his entering a first-offender program this past Tuesday.  Apparently Labar wasn’t pleasuring himself, but rather was doing a bit of manscaping while cruising down the highway.  Sure the road isn’t exactly the best place to neaten up the old pubic hair, but when the bush gets too wild for taming, a man’s gotta take care of business , regardless of the time or place.

The prosecutor, and pretty well anyone else with an ounce of common sense, aren’t buying the hilarious explanation.

“The witness didn’t see any manscaping going on,” added Assistant District Attorney Patricia Mulqueen, who prosecuted the case.

Labar will have a clean record providing he completes two years of probation and covers any fines and court costs.  Luckily for Labar he didn’t hit a bump in the road and eviscerate his scrotum, otherwise he would have unwillingly been the poster boy for the dangers of manscaping and driving.


Jeff Greenwell is the writer/editor of Last Angry Fan. Jeff has been known to rock a Speedo while belting out Robert Goulet tunes from his front porch, and in his spare time he enjoys capturing and training feral goats to be his minions. Also known to dig a nice brick of cheese from time to time.
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